Wedding Vows: The Most Important Thing No One Else Will Tell You

Wedding Vows: The Most Important Thing No One Else Will Tell You

It’s possible an absolutely brilliant, inspired wedding ceremony is happening about now, just as you and I sit down to have our weekly time together.

I actually can’t tell you the name of the couple getting married.

Our paths crossed a couple of weeks ago as my family spent some time on a beach in Southern California.

Hard to miss these two gorgeous people who looked like they stepped out a picture frame you buy at a department store.

Perfect beautiful couple like you see in Southern California.
Perfect beautiful couple like you see in Southern California.

Gorgeous, except for their furrowed brows.

“What’s wrong?” I had to ask.

“We’re getting married right here at this spot in a couple of weeks,” the man explained.

“We’re here to check out the venue,” the woman chimed in, as they look concerned at the roaring surf.

Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 2.42.22 PM

“We’re worried the crashing waves will be too loud to hear our vows,” he explained.

“Most brilliant thing you can do,” I assured them.

They looked at me like the crazy lady who talks to strangers, which of course I am.

I explained how my husband and I got married two years ago next to a waterfall in North Carolina.

“Just like you, we scouted that location two weeks before we wed. We thought it was perfect. A mild flow cascading over some giant boulders into a peaceful pool down below where we would stand and say our vows.”

Scouting the beautiful and peaceful Silver Run Falls in North Carolina.
Scouting the beautiful and peaceful Silver Run Falls in North Carolina. Two weeks later, the boulder where I’m standing would be under 6 feet of water.

“That sounds wonderful,” the bride-to-be said.

“We thought it would be, too,” I agreed. “Only, it rained for the next two weeks solid. When we came back with our girls and an officiant to do the wedding, that peaceful pool had grown into a lake. The simple waterfall looked like a million fire hydrants roaring on full blast.”

“What did you do?” the future groom asked.

“We went ahead with the wedding,” I shared. “My husband and I had to hold onto each other for dear life just not to fall in, which turns out to be a good analogy for married life.”

Our 1st Wedding: Silver Run Falls, NC. July 14, 2012 Just us & our girls. Married again 7 weeks later with all the fam and friends.
Our 1st Wedding: Silver Run Falls, NC. July 14, 2012
Just us & our girls. Married again 7 weeks later with all the fam and friends.

“And the vows?” the young woman asked. “Could you even hear what the other was saying?”

“Not a single word,” I replied. “That’s what made it perfect.”

Check out the booming mini-Niagara Falls behind us as we say our vows. Holding on tight to each other so that we don't fall in.
Check out the booming mini-Niagara Falls behind us as we say our vows. Holding on tight to each other so that we don’t fall in.

Two years into marriage, here’s the thing I’ve figured out about wedding vows–

It’s all well and good to promise all sorts of stuff, romantic, devoted, and cute.

Truth is, though, you have no idea what life is going to serve up, what surprises you’re signing up for.

“When did I promise to let one of your ailing pet chickens spend the night inside the house instead in the coop where she belongs?” my husband asks.

“You don’t remember that part of the waterfall vows?” I ask innocently to end the conversation.

“When did I agree to go to bed with a loud, crinkly bag of frozen peas icing down your sore shoulder?” I asked the other night.

“Waterfall vows,” he said.

He had me.

And of course, that’s just the small stuff. Families, schedules, quirks, stress can make this marriage thing challenging.

To the couple getting married on the beach, I say, “Let that ocean roar!”

To engaged couples, forget stressing over the dress, the cake (well, make sure there is good cake,) the bridal party. Get somewhere loud. Book a marching band,

Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 2.47.48 PM

a wood chipper,

Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 2.48.11 PM

a jackhammer

Screen Shot 2014-07-20 at 2.48.31 PM

to fire away while you say your vows.

To my husband, I shout, “Thank you for the two best years of my life!”

Oh, and Honey, the laundry needs folding.

Remember, how you vowed to always do the laundry?

What about your vows? What wedding mishap worked well for you?

Please catch my newspaper column each week in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Dayton Daily News and other newspapers across Ohio.

One thought on “Wedding Vows: The Most Important Thing No One Else Will Tell You

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s