Four Reasons I’m Against Gay Marriage

Four Reasons I’m Against Gay Marriage

by darynkagan

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-I’m against gay marriage, because to me, there is no such thing. It is simply, er, marriage.

-I’m against gay marriage, because I would never want to be married to a gay man. I imagine our love life wouldn’t be all that great. Oh, and I’m already married. To a straight man. A wonderful straight man. There’s that.

-I’m against the gay marriage ban. Oh, that’s it. That’s what I’m really against. Gay marriage bans, which of course, are only selective marriage bans. I live in one of the final four states to hold onto an all out marriage ban, which is a wonderful thing because that’s going to be one amazing party when it’s lifted. How boring to be in the 18th or 34th state.

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-The picture above says it all. There is only one man in this picture whom I would want to be married to. That hunky guy on my left. The rest of them? Not a chance. However, even though I don’t want to be married to them, doesn’t mean I’m not thrilled they are married to someone else.

There’s Roger & Mark, together 10 years. Married 2 years.

There’s Craig & Michael. Together 20 years. Married 10.

Craig & Michael actually introduced me to my husband and worked their magic to get him to ask me out. Thank goodness for friends who knew I wasn’t going to see my way out of 47-years of single-hood without some intervention. (Which answers the question single women across America have been asked, “How you ever going to find someone if you’re just hanging out with your gay boyfriends?”)

So let it be said, that my marriage is not threatened by these men being married to each other. It was created and inspired and now supported by them.

We love you guys. Thank you for being the kind of people who pour your energy into creating a new marriage rather than seeing it as an exclusive club where yours only counts if others don’t get to get in.

-Oh, the fourth reason I’m against gay marriage.

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My sister and her wife. Couple years ago, after being together 10 years, they went and eloped in Canada. Eloped! How can I support a marriage where I didn’t get to eat wedding cake?!  It’s all about the cake, right?  The part how they are the love of their lives, have created a loving wonderful family, support each other to the moon and back? Eh. Cake. I want cake.

Here’s hoping that other Kagan (Justice Elena—no relation, btw) and at least four other justices see the light when they hand down their historic decision later this year.

Find more uplifting stories on my website, DarynKagan.com
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48 thoughts on “Four Reasons I’m Against Gay Marriage”

      1. I am offended by your proclivities! Vanilla with vanilla? I had white cake with raspberry buttercream filling at my wedding. Therefore that is the only *correct* wedding cake.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. Yes it’s all about the cake! It was upsetting to me that my long time friend and her now wife had to go to Vermont to be wed! I cried because I could not be with them to celebrate the occasion! So yes, I got no cake and that plain out sucked!!

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  5. People elope all the time from the beginning of time when families, villages, clans disapprove a union. Forbidden love going on an adventure!!! Then celebrate with yummy cake. Just don’t call it a wedding cake or the bakery will charge extra for that ;p

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  9. The picture shows one straight couple and two gay couples. My guess is that all three couples share one comment, “Honey, I’m too tired tonight.” We are more alike than we are different.

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  12. This article was JUST lovely, encouraging, and full of peace. Thank you do much for what has been a blessing; reading your words.

    The Peace Of The Lord Be With You friend.
    _-Jackie

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  15. I’m so glad I stopped by to read this. Yes, I am against gay marriage too. I’m against anything that separates us and gives people labels so it’s easier to pick groups to hate. I love the little picture that goes around Facebook that says something along the lines of “When I parked my car today, I didn’t gay park it. When I had lunch I didn’t have gay lunch, I just had lunch, and I’m not gay married, I’m just married.” (Not EVEN the actual quote, by the way)

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      1. You either think it’s best for people to do things in their lives precisely as you would or have done yourself, or, you don’t. Instead you believe that the reasons for things being as they are transcend your feeble understanding and narrow view.

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  17. Pingback: How could anyone deny a tribute so lovely? | Poetry By The Sea

  18. I almost didn’t read this blog but saw that a think-alike friend of mine had “liked” it so I was intrigued. SO glad I read it. It was very uplifting and inspiring. Keep the positivity going!

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  19. Thank you for the delightful smile you gave me this morning while reading your post. My husband Dave and I have been married since September of last year, and we’ve been accepted by my entire family as well as his. We’re not “gay married,” as we’re just married while gay. (see: HAPPY)

    I led the march in Long Beach, CA in 2008 after the passing of Proposition 8, restricting and redefining marriage between a man and a woman. My personal stance was, who in their right mind would want to deny me bridal registry (just kidding….kinda). I found my soulmate, and we simply wanted something simple…we also eloped and married a month earlier, just surrounded by a handful of loved ones, as the wedding was growing out of control. Alas, I denied my mother wedding cake as well, but I promised her that we would renew our vows in the future so she could share in the moment.

    Thank you again for the much needed smile this morning…

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  20. I thought “gay” marriage meant a HAPPY marriage. At least in the olden days gay meant happy. That’s the way I see it.

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  22. My sister is also happily married to her beautiful wife, I on the other hand I got to eat lots of cake ,along with 160 of all our family and friends at the Titanic Belfast, their partnership and marriage are envied by my other 2 sisters and myself , they are both my sisters and best friends xx

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  24. your lack of a wedding cake is an abomination in the eyes of…. Ummmmmmm my stomach! I need an invite to a gay wedding… That cake has gotta be the most delicious thing

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  25. Im very glad there are people like you in this world. ..now as to the cake issue. ..We recently had a case here in PORTLAND…YES PORTLAND “keep it weird” Oregon recently to where the owner of s local bakery flat out REFUSED to bake s cake for s gay couple! Of course they used the old “Religion” defense to justify their discrimination. Here was my question. …I must have missed something somewhere,I never realized I had to first list my sexuality, nor to have to justify or defend it to my BAKER! I ALSO must have missed the passage in the bible that states He who bakesth treats for homos shall be an abomination! People believe that owning a buisness in a public market gives them a right to discriminate against anyone they choose…whats next, we wont bake cakes for african americans, or hispanics or Asians? We had that once before, and it didnt tutn out so well! Hows about u have the right to believe and practice any bigoted religion u choose, but dont practice it in a PUBLIC BUISNESS….Oh yeah..seems they LOST that case as well…..its 2015….Time to get over our selves……so much more to worry about than this!

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    1. Lol Braden your comment made me laugh so hard. I totally agree with your sentiment 100000000000000% the past that made me laugh though is the history of your state. Oregon was founded by people who set out to make a “white utopia” it was literally illegal and in the state constitution, to this day, for anybody who wasn’t white to enter, live in, work, own property in the state unit penalty of savage beatings to those who weren’t 100% white, or white “harboring” those of other races, every 6 months for 2 years then would be forcibly “hired out” to anybody who would physically remove them until the early 1900’s when the federal government passed constitutional law the trumped state doctrine allowing non whites to live, work, pass through and visit. Creating a hotbed for the growth of the Klan. Even up until 1975 it was a veritable Mecca for the KKK until there was not enough people around to hate and people stopped paying dues to the Klan and it folded. This is why Oregon has such a lacking in diversity to this day. So really, the refusal to bake a cake for a gay couple is coming after the refusal for the Asian, African American, Latino couple.

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  29. my sister and her (then) boyfriend eloped. I feel your cake pain. But she also didn’t tell my mother for like a month, and then only thru an email…so, in the grand scheme of things, the dearth of cakey goodness didn’t rate very high on the Things That You Got Horribly Horribly Wrong scale.

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  31. Nice article! But I’m still concerned about all this Cale controversy. What’s the answer? Perhaps a national moratorium on baking until we can get everything sorted out?

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  33. I almost had that overwhelming feeling anger\ irritation. Then, as I read further, my smile became obvious to my other half. I now have a little skip in my step as I head to kitchen to bake a homemade cheese cake with fresh raspberry topping. He thanks you. 🙂

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