Book Lover, Party of One; Why Reading Is Like Dating

Book Lover, Party of One; Why Reading Is Like Dating

I can’t quite do it yet.

I need some space.

Before I’m ready.

It’s like that with great loves.

This one has been with me for years.

I suspect with you, as well.

A love that can only be found between the pages

Of books.


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Diving into the deep end with characters I like and relate to better than some of the “real” people in my life.

My name is Daryn and I’m a life-long book lover.

You, too, Dear Reader? Are you a fellow Reader?

And if so, what kind?

Book love is sort of like dating.

How we look for it, enjoy it, pace it.

Are you a serial reader? The kind who jumps from book to book? Your soul starts to shake if you’re not involved in some master plot?

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Do you refuse any exclusive relationship, reading more than one book at once?

Me, I’m a one-book-at-a-time kinda gal.

And I need a little space between tomes.

After all, reading a book is so gosh darn intimate. For days, weeks, months, these characters and I grab every spare moment together. I will read in bed, in the bathroom while blow drying my hair (and you thought I didn’t have talent!)

And if the book is really good, like the one I just finished, I fall in love.

This is not the wisest of choices as I know how this is going to end.

Just as all unrequited love does–

Not well.

For, to love a book is to give your heart away, to the characters, to their struggles.

Diana Gabaldon's Outlander's Series comes to life as a TV Show, which any book lover knows is not the same, nor as good.
Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander’s Series comes to life as a TV Show, which any book lover knows is not the same, nor as good.

Meanwhile, they don’t know who I am.


The idea that they’re now sharing their story with the next book-aholic eager to gobble up their pages hurts my warped feelings a bit, I must say.

That’s why, like dating, I can’t jump immediately from one book to another.

So, yes, that makes this a lonely time, as I’m currently between books.

I crawl into bed thinking of that book I forgot I finished, only to remember, “Oh, that’s right. We’re not together anymore.”

My heart pangs, just not enough to move along.

Not quite yet.

Sometime over the next week or two, I’ll start thinking about dipping my page turning finger.

Like someone ready to get back in the dating pool, I’ll casually ask friends, “Know any good books?”

Or look for an online match asking on Twitter and Facebook, “What book have you loved lately?”

A good fix-up requires some information, so let me just say, I don’t have a certain type.

I bounce from what the book world likes to call, “Women’s Fiction,” to thrillers, and if I’m feeling kinda smart, some literary stuff.

I’ve been known to spend my fair share of time with the likes of John Grisham, Dan Silva, Lisa Scottoline, Kristin Harmel, Harlan Coben, Ken Follett, and most recently Liane Moriarty.

How about you?

Who you reading?

How you reading?

I’ve got time to talk before the next book steals my time and heart.

Find more uplifting stories on my website,

Please catch my newspaper column each week in the Atlanta Journal Constitution, the Dayton Daily News and other newspapers across Ohio.

And you can find me hosting “Bookmark” on RLTV.

4 thoughts on “Book Lover, Party of One; Why Reading Is Like Dating

  1. Am I a reader? YES. Always have been. As long as my eyes hold out, I always hope to be one, too.

    If I like one book by any given writer, there’s no rest in my butt until I’ve found and read every book that writer has ever published. Generally, I’m a one-book-at-a-time kinda gal, but if I’m in the middle of one book when a fellow writer asks me to read and review an ARC, (advanced reader copy) I’ll put the first book on pause and immediately switch to the ARC. (Yeah, fickle, I know.)

    I will read just about anything. Addicted to the newspaper, to any written word. (Have been enjoying your Sunday columns in the AJC for a long time.) Genres I thought I would NEVER want to read have caught me by surprise, simply because a blogging pal wrote or recommended it, so I gave it a shot.

    I just finished “The Goldfinch” and “Girl on a Train,” both of which I read because of all the rave reviews I’ve seen for them. Even though the first is a Pulitzer prize winner, it didn’t knock my socks off. “Girl” kept my interest throughout. Best books? Books that make me feel, or that make me laugh. Women’s lit. That’s what my first novel is. (“Hot Flashes and Cold Lemonade”) Occasionally, short stories, essays, and poetry. (My second book is a collaborative effort with a bunch of fantabulous women: “Old Broads Waxing Poetic.” Best thing about that one is all proceeds are going directly to CARE International. 🙂

    Sorry, I didn’t mean to use this comment as an opportunity to tout my own books, but reading and writing kinda go together, don’t they? How can anyone who’s in love with words not feel compelled to write at some time? You sure do. And beautifully. I always enjoy your columns. They do make me feel. And sometimes laugh.

    I think it’s about darned time I sign onto your blog as a follower. It’s very nice to “meet” ya.


  2. I love books! and have never thought of them as a relationship, but I completely relate to this post! I fall in love with the characters and the images I have created in my mind. Like you said, when I finish a book, I’m sad. They’re no longer a part of my life. On to the next!


  3. I can totally relate…only I just jump headfirst into the next book the moment I finish…does this make me a serial monogamist? But sometimes I can’t face another new relationship so i call on a favourite ex to comfort me, remind me of old times and often make me laugh (right now I’m re reading some bill Bryson and laughing uncontrollably). That’s why I keep the exes around, so I’m not alone without a book…ever. perish the very thought! X


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